There are storms brewing. The air is heavy, clouds are swirling, humidity’s rising. Air pressure is changing. The sky is dark and menacing.
And my head hurts.
Storm migraines are my least favorite. Where I live, we have an active spring storm season, so I have a lot of these, and they can last for days as a pressure system sits atop us, fussing and spitting. We might not get a drop, but I’ve still got the migraine.
I swear storm migraines hurt differently than the others. They hurt from the outside in, as if they’re trying to carve and pound their way into my skull.
I’ve been taking Dilaudad/Hydromorphone all day, and it takes the edge off for awhile. I can take more and be completely stoned and pain free, but it doesn’t hurt enough to go that route, and I hate, hate, hate that feeling. If it gets bad enough tonight, I can take a Thorazine to knock me out, but then I’ll lose half the day tomorrow, which might not be too bad, since those storms, they’re still a’comin.
These are the crappy choices we make. Is it bad enough now to take a painkiller? We only get so many a month, so we’ve got to dole them out so carefully. Did I wait too long to take the pills? If I did, I’ll have to take more to compensate for that, damnit. Did I take them too soon, and the migraine just never got that bad? Or was it the early painkiller that prevented it from being a bastard of a headache?
I’ve asked doctors over and over and over: When should I take the pills? The only real, solid answer I got was the scariest. She said I should take them early and in a large dose to cut the migraine off at the pass.
It’s a good idea in theory. But then I’ve taken a large dose of painkillers. So I’m wiped out, my drug supply for the month has taken a hit, and I flirt with rebound headaches and addiction.
There’s no way to win.
If anyone has a magic answer on when to take the painkillers, I’d love to hear it. I’ve had severe migraines for 18 years, and I have no good answers and still fly by the seat of my pants.
Anyway, I’m still