All About Payne

I graduated about 20 years ago with a journalism degree, and worked for some major newspapers, magazines, and websites as both a writer and editor. Next, I went back to school and got a Master’s degree in Library Science to pursue my dream of being an archivist in a library.

Amidst all of that, I started having migraines. They grew much, much worse over the last 20 years, and a whole host of other neurological problems have presented: deafness in my left ear, vision problems, severe memory problems, crushing depression, tremors in my muscles, especially my hands. I can’t work, can’t drive. I’ve been fired from 6 jobs. I’m considered by the federal government to be fully disabled.

Mostly, oddly, I feel pretty good about my life. I try to have a positive outlook. If I didn’t, I’d be tossing down handfuls of pills with vodka chasers. I find small things to make me happy. I have the best dog in the world; he acts as my service dog when necessary. My life is made bearable my my mother. After my father died, she took me on as her project. I’m what she does, her reason for getting up and going. I’m immensely grateful. Without her, my quality of life would be desperate.